6.13.2013

Announcements! Nicknames! Fun! BORED!

My proxy girlfriend dumped me by text with a sad face :( at the end.

I dumped her in a construction site with a slit throat.

So now I'm single, ladies. Think about it. I might be dead soon! Think about itttttt.

Look over there, Kelevra has taken to calling me Snegurochka. Uhhh... "snow-something"? The fuck does it mean? Aah, call me what you want, I'm likely going to kill our little Sashura, but I'm sure you're cool with that. Any proxies reading this, bring her in dead or alive, whichever. You might have more luck bringing her in dead. And get back to work, you skiving bastard.

That's all for announcements, I suppose.

Over on aforementioned little girl's blog, I nicknamed Kelevra Mr. Bump on account of his resemblance to Mr. Bump, you know from the Mr Men / Little Miss series. I had a childhood too, you know. So now, since all proxies are required to nickname, I give you a comprehensive list that I shall add to upon request:

Kelevra -- Mr. Bump
Vikady -- Mr. Noisy
pHIL -- Mr. Clever
Veigar -- Mr. Mean
JP -- Mr. Happy
Alexandria -- Little Miss Curious

24 comments:

  1. Mr. Mean?

    Frosty! That hurt me riiiiiggght-

    Nowhere.

    -Veigar

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where did you get the assumption that I was trying to hurt your feelings? Send it back and demand a refund. Cockslap.

      Delete
  2. Mr clever? I'm flattered.

    And yeah, this right here is why I don't respect you as a leader. You keep killing our guys. I know getting dumped feels bad, but you need to get a hold of your homicidal tendancies, or at least aim them away from the people you're meant to be leading.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey. By TEXT.

      Face to face? Skype? Over the phone? That would have been cool. But by text? NO. SNOWBLIND MAD. SNOWBLIND SMASH.

      Oh yeah, I forgot you're new. Well, if you have any questions or need showing the ropes, I'll be happy help out.

      Delete
    2. Why do I get the horrible feeling that the only rope you plan to show me is a noose?
      But either way, I'm going to have to decline. Retaining anonymity and all that, but thanks for the offer.

      Delete
    3. I was being genuine, for the record.

      Delete
    4. Thanks. I actually mean that genuinely, it's nice to have people willing to help me to settle in.

      Delete
  3. You don't get the Snegurochka? Allow me to explain!

    Here in Soviet Russia there once was a fairy tale, about a girl who was made out of snow, thus she couldn't love, because if she loved someone, her heart would warm up her body and eventually melt her. In the end, she disobeyed the rules and fell in love anyway, and melted, no happy endings. These days, to Russian kids, she is known as the grand daughter of Grandpa Frost (Russian version of Santa Clause).

    Now if you put your mind into it, the nickname makes a lot of sense in connection to you. Any action you take, will result in your death, you have an ambition, just like Snegurochka did, but you can't reach it, because when you start reaching for it, you die.

    As for the Mr. Bump thing? I have absolutely no idea why you entitled me that title, I mean the only resemblance I can see are the bandages, but tis all. No deeper meaning? But what do I expect from person such as yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, your fairy tales are almost as screwed up as England's. Almost.

      So every nickname you give someone has a meaning? Mind if I ask about "Serij"?

      Delete
    2. But you don't know whether I am going to die any time soon.

      Delete
    3. @Minxie: "Serij" is simply "street" version of the name Alexander, or Alexandria, here in Soviet Russia, it also translates as color "Grey", but that translation is simply a coincidence. But it does suit you, currently you are in the grey, and I have been trying to constantly pull you out of there.

      @Snowblind: But you will die eventually.

      Delete
    4. Is it still Soviet Russia? I'm confused. I thought it was just Russia now. Or maybe a country that big cannot be comprehended by a little English rose.

      (We English have a huge inferiority complex.)

      Delete
    5. Oh no, I'm just trying to get in the loop with all them internet jokes and shit.

      Delete
    6. In Soviet Russia, loop gets in you.

      Delete
    7. So who is this 'Loop' fellow? If you get my meaning wink wink say no more say no more.

      Delete
    8. Fortissimo seems to have competition in Loop, that's for sure.

      Delete
    9. Quick warning. Don't envision that particular ship.

      I wonder if Fracture sells brain bleach.

      Delete
    10. KILL IT WITH FIRE.

      http://i.imgur.com/HKR2tYU.jpg

      Delete
  4. Wow, you really are the type of person who I'd love to punch. Maybe stab. Or shoot. In fact, I will be holding a party on the day of your death!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey Snowy, did you get the Tee-shirt?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gave a t-shirt to a proxy to deliver to you. David Banks one- seemed funny when I was drunk. Appears she decided she preferred not getting killed.

      Delete
    2. You just prompted me to open my post.

      Oh very funny.

      It's a nice fit, though. Makes me look dashing.

      Delete

You must be here to yell at me, eh?