It's BORING in nigh on captivity. Not that I'm complaining.
I'd love to be out there on the battlefield, though. Or the Path. One day, I'm going to be great at using the Path. You'll see.
I suppose here might be a good time to tell you about me. You know that mook in the background of blogs that gets killed off? I mean there's probably like one sentence devoted to it. That's me. That's who I am. A generic proxy tormentor, and I pride myself on it. Infamy? Now that can go fuck itself! I don't want infamy. I just want... blood and guts. What all the other crazy generic proxies want.
And sight. Seeing. That little bitch took my eye out, and she will pay in blood for it. But seeing, ever since I was a boy, everything is sight.
Achievements. Torture. No glory.
Blood. Pain. Death. Money. That's all I need.
Generic proxy, out.
You have to admit you're being a little hypocritical here.
ReplyDeleteYou say you pride yourself on being a 'grunt' so to speak. And yet you've gone and attracted the attention of some of the most dangerous people in this thing.
Irony's a bitch, isn't it?
-Veigar
Can't say I'm fond of the attention.
DeleteIt does make me feel kind of special, though.
I didn't expect to attract dangerous people, you must understand. The girl is just a simple teenage runner. Why you dangerous people get interested in her, I simply don't understand.
Generic? you know that schmancy ski mask you wear? The one that Sanna used to identify you to the readers on her blog. That's not a good idea if you hope to remain generic. I mean, you talk like you want to be big time, you act like it, and then this? You're a funny guy. But not particularly.
ReplyDeleteBesides, there is no such thing as a generic proxy in private. I know a proxy who bets on everything- as in, I have a fifty on you ending up dead before Christmas, and a tenner on Med dying because of a failed attempt to cure Black. The way to be generic is to look and act the same, not to say you're the same. Blue or black hoodie, standard issue mask and stalking. Not appearing on people's blogs to discuss what you plan to do to them on their blogs and having easily identified quirks. The reason to be generic is to be anonymous.
You got fifty quid on me croaking by Christmas? Triple it and I might just top myself.
DeleteWhy I'm getting such attention, I have no idea, but for now . . . I don't know. Perhaps I'll learn to like it.
Probably the best option, since you ain't getting rid of it. Unless you were to just go back to being a regular proxy. Ditch the ski mask, get a hoodie and change your hair- dye it or something. But that'd mean you actually were just another proxy- losing all the power you've amassed, and that must have been difficult when you still have trouble with the path.
DeleteFood for thought.
And thanks for the offer, but I think I'll stick with fifty.
Fellas, fellas! You are obviously making a point here, but you are bringing up false facts.
ReplyDeleteThere is one simple way that I can prove, that our friend Snegurochka up there wants to be more, than what he already is. Simple, notice the words he uses to describe some fellows he came into contact with (Including myself) - "dangerous people".
If he considers us "Dangerous", then he fears us on some level, which means he respects us, which means he strives to be like us. Simple.
Not to mention, he became Marshmallow Man's servant for a reason, we all have a reason why we want to serve him, we don't get brainwashed, we have our own personal reason. Now obviously I have no idea what that reason can be for Snegurochka, but he has it and he strives for it, which means he is no ordinary proxy, there are no ordinary proxies.
Case, solved.
Uh, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a bunch of people do get brainwashed. The hallowed, and those who serve willingly because the alternative is being hollowed.
DeleteAlso, finding something scary doesn't show respect, and having respect doesn't mean that you want to be like them. I respect a lot of people, but I'd hate to be anything like them. I'm slightly afraid of Mourningstar, but I have no respect for anyone that bloody-minded and violent, and if I found myself seeing things from his/her perspective I'd take it as a sign that I needed a long holiday.
That's the problem with you pHIL, when you present an analysis, most of your sentences contain "I", "I", "I".
DeleteYou don't know yourself to make such assumptions, nobody knows themselves, people are afraid for a reason, because they know how scary, stronger and so on that person is. Which in result the put themselves lower, than that person, which means respect, maybe not full respect, but it is respect in some sense, you just don't know it.
You'd hate to be anything like the people you respect, that doesn't mean you don't want to be, you simply hate the idea.
Both of you are right. While people do respect WHO they fear, there are somethings that are a little silly to put that to considering phobias.
DeleteI don't think people respect heights.
-Veigar
I like to think I know myself better than I know other people. For example, I'm afraid of Mourningstar because he/she could kill me as an afterthought. I'm afraid of death because, as a mind, there's an evolutionary instinct to survival in order to propagate. Despite being asexual, that desire remains, and so I am afraid of things that can kill me. I was afraid of you when you could access the path. I was afraid of Alicia until I got the hang of getting onto the path quickly. Those fears don't equate to respect- I would be afraid of anyone if they could kill me, because I am afraid of nonexistence. I can't respect nonexistence because there's nothing to respect, and I wouldn't want to be similar to nonexistence or visit nonexistence onto others because I have trained myself to treat others with empathy.
DeleteAnd everyone bases their treatment of others on the assumption that everyone is basically the same as us. The self is the only thing that's concrete- anything beyond such is subject to interpretation.
Thanks for the therapy.
Another problem with you pHIL ol' boy, you follow the rules.
DeleteYou say, you can't respect nonexistence, why? Is there a law that says that you are permitted to respect nonexistence?
I respect Destruction, it has no particular form ,or shape, but I respect it. I have a romantic relationship with a black liquid.
You can easily respect nonexistence, and deep inside you do, but for some reason, you just locked yourself up in all those rules and limitations, that's just wrong.
You call me a psychopath, and I don't agree with that, I say that I'm ten steps ahead, and I will keep saying that, because I believe that. Yet you once tried to prove me wrong, by presenting me an explanation about what the word actually means. And yet, I still say that I'm simply ten steps ahead.
Get it?
I dunno, surely it is better to "know" you are ten steps ahead than to "believe" you are ten steps ahead.
DeleteAs for the relationship thing, well sexual orientation isn't the same thing as affectional orientation. Phil's asexuality refers to sexual orientation. Your relationship with azoth is affectional orientation, because you don't stick your knob in the azoth.
You sure about that?
DeleteWell if you did you wouldn't be shagging dead bodies.
DeletePoint to you this time. But the sexual thing is only a part of the whole picture.
DeleteWell that was my point. If you have a gender preference (or not) for which body you're knobbing, that's sexual orientation. But it doesn't make up a romantic orientation, now your romantic orientation encompasses Diana and azoth, apparently. Buuut, I'm a virgin, I've never even had a boyfriend, so I am no expert.
DeleteAnd the whole picture is?
Why, didn't I make it clear? The whole picture is whatever you want it to be.
DeleteNot necessarily. The idea of being a psycho scares me and makes me want to hide under a blanket.
DeleteAnd what, pray tell, do you mean by 'the whole picture'? The objective reality of the world? The truth about the gender of the corpses you like to shag? Please, tell me what this magnificent 'whole picture' is that is so subjective, so prone to change, and why it matters so much.
Delete*facepalm* I just said it, it is whatever you want it to be, however you want it to be, whenever you want it to be, and it can have any meaning you want it to be.
DeleteFor me? The whole picture? Destruction (Should be obvious)
Then it's an empty phrase. If something is whatever you want it to be, it is nothing, as everyone has a different thing they want it to be.
DeleteAs long as everyone wants it, it is never empty.
DeleteWhen there is on 'it', then it doesn't matter what people want, they aren't getting it. You want destruction, I want the status quo to resume. These are two mutually exclusive outcomes, and therefor you are against the whole picture (as I see it) and I am against the whole picture (as you see it and as an affront to the fine art of linguistics).
Delete'nuff said, I believe. Until you give a reason that the whole picture is anything more than a meaningless collection of letters. And 'Because people want the whole picture (where the whole picture is whatever people want)' isn't a reason.
NO it. When there is NO it.
DeleteYou yourself don't give me anything more than letters, all I see from you are ginormous essay's on this, or that, letters, all I see from you, are letters, nothing else.
DeleteEvery person has a picture, it is anything they want it to be, problem with such people, is that they don't always draw it, because they see how "unrealistic" it is, just like you.
And tis, is why you can not understand this, not that you do not understand it, you simply can not, because you are locked up, makes me feel sad for you.
Ok, so the entire whole picture thing is just another way of saying 'the end goal'. Awesome.
DeleteBut I have to question the idea that everyone has a goal. Because to be honest, I have no fucking idea what mine is. Can't even say its survival; only reason I don't top myself is stubbornness. You set up your slendersylum. What do you think it is? I'm genuinely curious.
I hate being a patient of Slendersylum. He doesn't look after us junior patients too well, other than the odd lifesaving moment. And his therapy ideas, cutting edge as they are, are also bloody twisted.
DeleteTo be honest, I'm just interested to see what he thinks. I mean, that'll be pretty telling about his state of mind and beliefs, right?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy boy, some would consider your ambition to be quite admirable. But if you truly believe that you will one day walk the Path and come out in one piece...
ReplyDeleteWell, that's just delusional.
-The Grigori
I've said it before and I'll say it again. The path, while it is incredibly dangerous, isn't that dangerous. Otherwise we wouldn't use it on a semi-regular basis. Well, not for long, anyway.
DeleteI am not entirely sure what the Path is, but I assume Father is implying that perhaps Snowblind's inexperience, overconfidence, and ambitiousness will get him killed on this path. It is just a guess however
Delete-Mira
Are you green with beveled edges?
ReplyDelete